DAILY PROMPT: Ghostwriter
DAILY PROMPT: GHOSTWRITER If you could have any author — living or dead — write your biography, who would you choose?
First thing, it would be kind of hard to get a dead author to write your biography. Really, a dead ghostwriter? And how would we communicate on Twitter? Though it probably would be called Flutter for those who went up, and Sizzler for those who didn’t.
Sure, I’d like someone famous like Shakespeare to talk about my life with poetic finesse. “Alas, poor Bagel, I knew him, Horatio, and he always had a smile on his face.” But all thing considered, my life isn’t — and has never been — very dramatic.
O. Henry has alway been a favorite of mine, but since I have always been a half-inch shy of being 5’6″ I wouldn’t want my bio ending up as a short story.
No, I think I would have to go with someone who is alive, and also very creative. That’s because my life has been rather uninteresting, uneventful, and perhaps even a little dull up until now. George R R Martin could probably give me an action packed bio filled with excitement, adventure, and derring-do … but then he would probably kill me off just when the readers were expecting me to save the day. Sure I know he might bring me back, but that could be a couple of volumes later.
No, I need an author who can outright lie and/or fabricate material to fill in the dull spots that made up 83% of my life. In other words, I’d like a novelization of my life. And I wouldn’t mind a sexy interlude or two … or three. But nothing really hard-core.
Currently my favorite author, who’s known by friends and fans simply as FARB is going through a mid-career crisis and thinking about rejuvenating his creative output and sales by adopting a new writing identity and style. Perhaps becoming the ghostwriter to the dull and disenchanting might be just the creative inspiration for which he’s looking. I’ll have to send him a copy of this post.