OMG! I THINK I’M BECOMING A HOARDER.
Yesterday, I went shopping to my ultra exclusive neighborhood shopping destination … Mémoires de Cible. I had a somewhat varied shopping list that took me up and down the many store aisles. While passing through the Easter section they were setting up, I spied something on the bottom shelf of the last end cap … the stocking lady had just added the Holy Grail of Easter treats!
FIVE … count them “5” bags of BLACK Jelly Beans.
Do you know how rare BLACK jelly beans are these days? You hardly ever see them any more. And when you do, it’s only in a highly ethnic shopping area. By ethnic I mean area with a high percentage of people of Germanic and Scandinavian heritage. I mean, who else like anise flavoring these days. Well, the Italians sort of do … but only if they think it’s fennel. So, I picked up two of the bags and added them to my shopping cart.
I turned my shopping cart at the end of the aisle and headed down to the checkout lanes. Halfway there, I came to an abrupt stop. What was I thinking? Each bag only contained 18 ounces. That was only two and a quarter pounds … barely enough to fill my old confectionary style candy jar. In other words, only enough to get me through a year if I limited myself to a single jelly bean every day. So I turned my cart around and headed back to the Easter display.
I arrived at the end cap and looked at the bottom shelf. Thank, God, the three bags were still there. I looked right and left … no one was in the area … and quick as a flash I grabbed two additional bags, added them to my cart and raised back to the check out area. But standing in line I suddenly realized … oh my God, in addition to being a black jelly bean addict, I also now qualified as a hoarder!
Oh, hell, what difference did that make. I’ve been called worst things. And I’ll only eat one or two a day. So who would know? And if some busybody happens to see my blue black jelly bean tongue, I can always say that I was bitten by a mad Chow Chow or one of those other Asian dogs with a blue tongue.
My filled confectionary candy jar!
Noticed I even folded a napkin into an Easter Bunny head to ward off black jelly bean pilferers!
IT’S MY LIFE
AND WELCOME TO IT!
BUT HANDS OFF THE BLACK JELLY BEANS!
Posted on March 20, 2013, in MY LIFE AND WELCOME TO IT and tagged black jelly bean addicts, black jelly bean pilferers, black jelly beans, black jellybean tongue, blue tongue, confectionary style candy jars, Easter Bunny, hoarders, Mémoires de Cible, shopping. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.