MLLE. RENEE CELEBRATES HER FIFTH!
Posted by Robert Edler
By everyone’s guesstimate, Mlle. Renee was probably born in early May of 2008. So, Renee and I decided that we would celebrate her birthday each year on Mother’s Day. And even though neither Renee or I know who or what her mother is/was, all things considered, that is a rather cool day on which to be born. And Renee really did love her mom. Anyway, today we celebrated! But I’ll let her tell you about that.
I was so excited about my birthday today I just couldn’t sleep. Would you believe it, I’m actually five today, and you know what that means in human years? That’s right, the big three five, which means from now on numbers don’t count for birthdays. The first thing I did was to go in and wake Rob up. He grumbled something about sleeping in, but after I shook the bed a dozen or more times he got up and opened the door so I could go out and run around and check the grounds for intruders like rabbits … and snakes. I hate snakes even more than Rob does. But I’m not afraid to pick them up like he is! I pick them up with my teeth and shake them silly … or until they stop wiggling around. There were no intruders, so I went back in the house and jumped into bed with him. He won’t say anything, but I think he likes when I snuggle next to his legs and warm his legs on chilly mornings like today. After a while the radio started playing music and it was time for Rob to get up and make breakfast. He gave me dry IAMS, and made flaky layer biscuits for himself. I gave him the mean on man stare, and he finally gave in and removed a couple of layers of his biscuit … spread a little butter on them … and put them on top of the IAMS. I really didn’t want the layers of the biscuit, but how else was I going to get the butter. I licked the butter of the biscuit layers, and when I saw him watching me I ate the layers, too. The IAMS can wait until I get hungry later.
After breakfast it was PRESENT TIME. I don’t know why he wraps things up … he knows I’ll only rip the paper up and he’ll bitch about cleaning up the mess on the floor. But the present was too cool to rule! It was a snazzy new, and totally fashionable nylon necklace of red, pink and purple. I ❤ it totally! It goes so well with my hair.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t cover the dent in my neck all the time. That happened when I was just a little pup before I was rescued by HSMO. They picked me up on the street and discovered a tight rope collar had embedded itself into my neck. I was kind of skinny, too. So after the nice ladies gave me something to eat, the doctors waited until I dozed off and while I was sleeping they surgically removed the old rope that was growing into my neck. They wrapped it up with medicine I didn’t like, but when I got well and healthy after a few months they let Rob take me home with him.
You can still see where my neck was hurt, but my new necklace will cover that up most times. So I’ll never take it off!. It has three cool charms on it that jingle-jangle when Rob takes me for walks. One charm is a golden bone engraved with my name. Another says I’ve had all my shots and vaccinations. And the last I’m a natural-born doggie of West Walnut Manor.
They’re carob chip, peanut butter and oatmeal cookies. Carob is sort of like chocolate, but isn’t. Rob says chocolate is bad for me, but he eats it all the time. So that’s why he made me these special cookies.
Tastes even better!
Even the crumbs are good.
Don’t know why Rob won’t eat any of them.
Oh, well, just more for me!
This has been my best birthday yet!