Why Mlle. Renee is not very fond of John Adams and things that go BANG in the night.
John Adams has alway been one of my idols of the American Revolution. Unfortunately, my beloved four-footed companion is not really very fond of him right now. She is holding him totally responsible for the summer of her discontent which just happens to be the annoying kids who live up the block and spend most of their days walking up and down the street lighting firecrackers and throwing them toward her domain. She bases her ire on a letter John sent his wife Abigail in July of 1776.
The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more.
Unfortunately, old John didn’t realize that history and a printer would get the facts and date confused and our Independence Day would become the Fourth Of July instead of the second. Anyway, every year I play 1776, the movie about our Independence Day for Renee and try to explain that he didn’t say anything about bad boys going around throwing firecrackers at her house. Her reply, “So, if they’re celebrating the Fourth Of July, why do they start two weeks early?” And I have no reply. I’m not going to tell her that they probably are pyromaniacs who all wet their beds at night. And I’m definitely not going to tell her that it’s against the law to sell fireworks in our county, and that all the fireworks are sold in the rural areas of the state where every one has to own a gun or two including an assault rifle or submachine gun. Also, I don’t want her to know that the use of fireworks in West Walnut Manor is against the law. (Ok, so the police have never enforced the law.)
Though, I did get kind of suspicious when I discovered that she had carryed one of her sleeping pillows onto my bed.
Her vet suggested putting a thundershirt on her, but she isn’t interested in wearing any types of dogwear or even been covered up. I do take her advice and sneak two Benadryls into a piece of cheese right before sunset on the Fourth. This allows her to doze off right before immolation of tons of rockets and other explosives begins up the block and around the neighborhood.
Don’t tell Renee, but I don’t like the noise either. BAN THE BANGS!