Bet that title made you stop and read today’s entry! For the past two weeks, West Walnut Manor has been living under the threat of an excessive heat warning. What warning? For the past week the mercury has been ranging between 95 and 100. If that isn’t high enough for you, the weather wizards have to adjust that figure and add a heat index which lets you know that even though the thermometer might read 95 … the heat really feels like it is 115. Come on you sadist b…..ds — can’t you just let us sweat and swelter at 95?
Actually, I really shouldn’t complain, because at exactly 4:35 p.m. on the past two afternoons we have received horrendous thunder, lightening, torrential rain storms. And today’s came with a bonus addition of one-inch hail. Yesterday, I had gone to the corner Walgreen and Mickey D’s to pick up a tube of toothpaste and a carry out Crispy Chicken Bacon Clubhouse Sandwich meal for my dinner. (No, the toothpaste wasn’t part of the dinner.) And just as I walked out of the door, the skies opened up with a Noah-like downpour. But I was prepared, because I had brought my pop-open umbrella along with me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make the pop-open thingy pop open the umbrella.
Just then two questionable young ladies ran out of the restaurant and began shouting, “Mister, mister, would you let us walk to the bus stop under your umbrella?”
I replied, “I’m sorry, as you can see, I’m having trouble opening the umbrella.”
“Here, let me open it,” said the greasier one of the two as she pulled in out of my hands.
I pulled the umbrella back out of her hands and said, “I’m not going to the bus stop!”
And as I walked off into the downpour in the other direction I added, “Besides, this umbrella will only cover one person.”
As the rain soaked through my clothes, they shouted, “You just have no respect for ladies!”
“And who considered you ladies,” I muttered to myself as the rain continued to fall and fill my mouth.
Surprisingly, I made it home without my dinner getting totally rain-soaked. Which was something I couldn’t say about myself, I was soaked through to my underwear. And the temperature had dropped from 95 to 72. I had to strip, towel down and put on dry clothes before I could eat.
Today was a repeat of yesterday, and thankfully I had not left the house. The added hail would have pelted me and left dents.
After today’s storm I walked out to see if there had been any hail damage. There was no damage to the house, but I had to cover my ears to protect the from the screeching of what sounded like a gazillion cicadas. It inspired me to find my origami folding paper.
Cicely and Silas Cicada making whoopee … and a hell of a lot of noise!
By the time you read this edition, I just might be covered with 6 to 12 inches of heavy wet snow. Or so the Weather Wizards said on the News @10 last eventing. I’m sure to survive because I stocked up on milk and bread on Saturday morning.
#1 THE ORIGAMI CALENDAR CHALLENGE – SUNDAY EDITION
I actually did this little black kitten for my great niece’s first birthday yesterday. They have a big black cat living in the house as a member of the family. My cat even got to sit next to her birthday cake.
She liked her cake …
CLUE – only seven different letters are used to answer all the questions. If you figure out the common bond you’ll get all the answers.
And are answers are in no particular order …
leap, wise, exit, also, axle, stop, peep and laws
Now all you have to do is figure out the logical order.
Now Renee and I are going to go back to bed, and try to avoid the snow.
Well, the weather wizards on TV are in ultra-panic mode with never-ending news and alerts of a Brobdingnagian winter storm wending our way tomorrow morning.
Fearing the worst, I got my old winter boots out of the closet and made a trip to my local stupidmarket for a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, 3 cans of chicken noodle soup, a six-pack of Charmin and a bag of Road Runner Ice Melter. I also would have thrown in a couple of packages of Twinkies, but they don’t make them anymore. So I added a package of Fig Newtons instead. And I also threw in a spare box of Flavor Snacks for Mlle. Renee. So come what may, Renee and I are totally prepared. I also made sure the snow shovel was locked in the garage, so I won’t be tempted to shovel the walks.
Latest dire/ominous reports have the super storm dozing in Texas and Oklahoma.
5:17 PM UPDATE – 3 to 5 inches of snow in Saint Louis by 6 PM Thursday. Guess they’re really taking this one serious. The West Walnut Manor street department pretreated the local streets this afternoon. Those white stripes are a mixture of ice melters and beet juice.
That’s my life,
And welcome to it!
No matter where you go, you’ll find the walls all being decked with holiday trim. Yesterday, all of television’s Weather Wizards and one national new commentator were yammering about how it was the start of the meteorological winter when we all know that winter won’t begin for nineteen more days when we have the Winter Solstice. Barring any official calamity caused by the end of the Mayan calendar. Only one problem … it doesn’t feel like winter.
The trees all look like they think it’s winter.
As of 1:52 CST on the second day of December, the outside temperature in the Wicket City was actually the same as internal temperature of the house with the doors closed … and that was with the furnace on!
With all the weird weather we’ve been having, I’m just about convinced that the Mayans (whom I’m sure were really Martians who just landed here as a pit stop) might know something we haven’t figured out yet. I don’t know how that could possibly be … they didn’t have weather wizards or politicians. We’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, let’s just pretend that baby, it’s cold outside and deck us all with bows of holly!
That’s my life …
And welcome to it!
I don’t know why I thought today was the first day of winter. I guess it was because my calendar in the kitchen said it was. I should have known better since none of the weather wizards on TV were spewing all the winter weather trivia they had gleaned from their Old Farmer’s Almanac. I had a OFA, but I used it as a coaster for a potted plant last spring. Pot leaked and soaked almanac. So I threw it away! Then the plant died. Guess it had formed some kind of attachment for that soggy almanac.
So, I began preparing to welcome the winter solstice by writing my ode to the changing of the seasons.
FALL HAS FALLEN … AND WINTER RULES
SO NOW I CAN PUT AWAY THE GARDEN TOOLS!
Then it hit me like a snowball direct from hell!
WINTER DOESN’T START UNTIL RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!
AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED DOING MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!!!
So in spite of the fact that yesterday’s temp dipped to 22F it is still FALL … glorious FALL! It was like Ebenezer Scrooge waking up on Christmas day and finding out the temp is going to skyrocket to the mid-50s today. So don’t believe everything you read on the internet … until you get to the last line.
According to last week’s weather forecasts our prolonged heat wave was supposed to break last weekend (first Saturday and then Sunday) with massive thunderstorms and extended rainfall followed by a cool spell.
Well, Saturday came and went with no effect on the DOME OF HEAT!
Sunday was a repeat of the above until about 3:47 in the afternoon when clouds moved in filling the skies and causing the temperature to briefly decline. There was a nice cool breeze and rain began to fall. I counted all of seventeen drops before the clouds started to break up while the temperature returned to its pervious position.
The happy little butterfly did flutter by on a warm summer zephyr
When with his eyes he did spy a colorful blossom
“Huzzah, huzzah,” he did cry, “nectar for moi!”
And he flew willy-nilly to gorge himself silly!
Wait a minute, before you start oohing and aahing you’ve got the wrong fairy tale! If truth be told the tale of our photo is more Brothers Grimm or an opera by Puccini than Mother Goose. If truth be known, while the butterfly might have been on his way to the flower bed he never made it. I found him frying on the wall of the flower bed. He was dead from either dehydration or heat stroke. I posed him on the flower for the photo, and later the ants disposed of the body.
Moral of the story … Mother Nature’s idea of beauty can be cruel and heartless.
I on the other hand gave the butterfly his fifteen minutes of fame.
The Weather Wizards just gave us another week or three of THE DOME OF HEAT!